Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
