Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
