btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
