AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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