what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
