just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
