you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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