I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
