Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
