Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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