I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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