ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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