Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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