I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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