Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
