Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
