Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
