You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
