I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
