Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
