This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
