I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
