Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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