my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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