All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
