Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
