Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
pray to the hookup gods
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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