please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
