pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
