Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize