so explain again why im purple
no
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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