i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
