Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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