Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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