one might say we're banned from that church
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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