That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
