I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
