Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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