I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
