"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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