Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
