U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
