Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
