She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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