and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
