I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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