She's JV to your varsity
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
