Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My vagina just clenched in fear
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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