I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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