2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You're a waste of cheezeits
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
When are your genitals available?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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