the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
