What a fucking waste of an outfit
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
