I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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