I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How does it feel to date your dad?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
