Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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