he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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