i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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