You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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