why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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