Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
